Telling People You Have Arthritis
When you have arthritis and decide to tell someone, it’s rarely easy. What and how much do you say?
By Heather Johnson Durocher
Perhaps you’ve heard the expression, “elevator speech,” which is a concise summary of what you want to say that takes no more time than an elevator ride. OK, so maybe you're not exactly in an elevator when it happens. But how best to explain to someone your arthritis – succinctly and confidently – when you have only a few moments?
Consider these tips from Mark Lumley, PhD, professor and director of clinical psychology training at Wayne State University in Detroit.
• Decide how specific you want to be. Perhaps you only recently were diagnosed and still have much to learn. Rather than go into details, try saying something along these lines: “I have something going on with my hands, I'm seeing a doctor about it.” Or “I have pain in my hands; I take medication for it.” If you're comfortable sharing more in-depth information, you could start with, “I have an autoimmune disease. This means ... ” and explain what you know.
• Watch your tone of voice. Do you present it matter-of-factly or as a source of embarrassment? Whichever way you go, the person will pick up clues from you and respond accordingly. Lumley suggests you make eye contact with a bit of a smile and confidence.
• Empower the other person (and yourself at the same time) by inviting him or her to ask any questions about your condition. “It empowers them to be open to you and shows you how to be confident, as opposed to communicating, 'I'm ashamed. I'm insecure.'”
Want to connect with others who have arthritis? Join the Arthritis Foundation's online communities.
